As an attachment specialist, I deeply empathize with the complexity of emotions you must be experiencing. Even after decades of detachment, the bond formed in marriage can leave a profound imprint on our hearts. Grief has its own timeline, its own rhythm, and it's okay to feel the weight of this loss, even if the connection felt distant in recent years. Your journey through grief is valid, and I commend your courage in navigating this unexpected sorrow. May you find solace in cherished memories and the strength to embrace the next chapter of your life.